A Priest, Rabbi and Joe Pesci Walk Into A Bar

I went to the bar "Stereo" last night. That line sums up that this story is going to be fucking retarded.

We pull up and the line isn't that long, but they tricked me and were only letting people in through VIP. So after an hour of waiting and watching dozens of shitty looking portugese dudes and assholes in Affliction gear get into the bar with no wait, we finally get in. I walk through the metal detector then the biggest lesbian bouncer pulls my hat off my head and says "no hats allowed on while in the bar". Are you fucking joking? It's a hat, I needed to cover up my ratnest... Not everybody can pull of the Ski-jump gelled hair. Maybe all the douchebags in the bar could, it would match well with their barbed wire tattoos, along with their puffy tongued DVS and Osiris shoes.

But I digress. Walking through the bar, I saw him. A person I had never met, but just by looking at him and hearing him talk, I knew I've never hated somebody as much as I hated this asshole. Puffy Jamaica colorway Ipaths, cargo pants, Lil' Wayne shirt, flame tattoos on both arms. a gold chain necklace and the gayest looking bleached fauxhawk to top off this miraculous kit. Looking at him, the only thing I could say to myself was "this guy just REALLY doesn't get it." It was even more obvious that he didn't when his opening line on some girl was "Hey baby you need a fuckin drink or what?"

I need to stop writing this because even thinking about him is annoying me.

-TJ