New Years Eve, two years ago. At the stroke of midnight I'm locked in my ex-girlfriend's friend's bathroom with my ex-girlfriend. Shit is getting sweaty. Me and this girl had not yet fooled around or anything, so it was all a new and exciting experience, like putting on a new pair of shoes. Except a wet shoe that I'm sticking my john into.
She lays on the bathroom floor and gives me the "fuckme" eyes and unzips her pants..
The first time I ever said no to sex was when I didn't see her vagina, but a big burly forest of pubic hair come popping out of this girl's pants. I swear it was right when everybody yelled out "HAPPY NEW YEAR" downstairs. I told her some story about how it would be wrong to go unprotected and I had to leave anyways.
Six days later I broke up with her.
I just couldn't deal with it.
-TJ Morand
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