Someone's stolen my mountain

This stuff is supposed to be about firsts. Big deal. I mean that without sarcasm, it actually is a big deal, cause it's our first issue and being first is something. A specifically non-specific something. So i had some extra time on my hands and i was thinking, what exactly is the big deal?
For starters, the first time is usually never the best time; if it was, there would be no need for a second time, and if there was a second time it would be like an overweight ballerina; sad and funny, a rainbow of hopelessness. And they say one is the loneliest number. And they are never wrong.
I happened to be reading through a National Geographic recently about the 50th anniversary of the first summit of Everest. I'm not sure on how old the magazine actually is, and i'm far too busy (ie lazy) to find out, but the point was that it was an amazing accomplishment of human will and spirit, and there are all kinds of incredible stories that are apart of it. Sir Ed Hillary and Tenzing Norgay set foot on a place were no foot had ever been set, it was awe inspiring, and when they got back down, they said they couldn't conceive of anyone trying to do it again. Stupid mountain climbers.
There were other stories about other climbers that went through hell to get to Everest, but somehow they just weren't as interesting. Everyone remembers the first man on the moon, but can you name anyone else that went there? Didn't think so. ( If you can, stop watching discovery channel all day and get a girlfriend or a job or something). Lots of people keep on doing it, now there are plans to take tourist into space, and Everest is so packed with 'tourist' climbers that you have to bump shoulders on the way up. I'm not saying climbing a mountain is easy, and plenty have tried to go up 'the hard way' or be the first to climb it in like under an hour or something. so instead of being daring, people settle for different, and by different, you know, i mean "different". This will inevitably lead to things like the first gay couple to climb Everest wearing only organic fibres. Who cares? no one. Climb the mountain because it's there, but you can't climb it because you'd be the first in someway, it's been done. I'm sure the view is incredible, but it used to be that you had to earn that kind of thing.
We remember out firsts because they are that leap of faith into new experience, doing something that couldn't be done and doing it, coming down from the mountain and saying "We've done the bastard. When's tea?". Good or bad, it's a milestone in our lives, in our history, it's a point that we can no longer step back from. And it's a bunch of stupid people that have no sense of history or significance or the fact that there is nothing special in being the first to glue yourself to the Eiffel Tower. Just because it can go on YouTube, doesn't mean anyone will care.
The point is that firsts are special things, individual things, and if they are important historical things. So here's to our little bit of history. It may not be tour best, but it certainly is our first. Here's to popping my publishing cherry.